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On Shadows and Influencers

Categories Life, Other1 Comment on On Shadows and Influencers
Photo by Olya Mn on Unsplash

A few days ago, trying to find some answers about the continued failures of my life, I did a session with an astrologer who read my natal chart—“a picture of the sky when you were born.” I loved it because these sessions usually just confirm things I know or want to be told: “You shine bright and bring light to people with your warmth.” “You are a creator.” “Who took your self-worth?” 

After asking this question, which I had never heard before and honestly, caught me off-guard, she said I should do “shadow work” to figure out aspects of myself that I have suppressed or not acknowledged. So, I have been doing that. I found a questionnaire with many prompts, such as: “Who do you envy, and why?” “What are your personal core values?” and “What emotions typically bring out the worst in you, and why do you think this happens?”

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To Bake is to Dream, to Dream is to Bake

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My first attempt at Princess Cake, the traditional Swedish layer cake

Sitting in my office in downtown Vancouver, an Excel sheet open in front of me, I daydream: “A fluffy sponge cake. Three layers. Rosewater buttercream. Soak the cake in lemon syrup. Fresh rose petals to decorate. A sprinkle of gold powder on top of the cake to finish.”

For a few minutes, I escape the reality of my job as a researcher and enter a baking fantasy, one of my secret internal worlds. That world, that compartment of my personality, is as much a part of me as my name, my hair colour, or the sound of my voice. «Cogito ergo sum», wrote Descartes, “I think, therefore I am.” I “bake, therefore I am.” Baking is synonymous with my name and my name is synonymous with baking. We are one.

Continue reading ➞ To Bake is to Dream, to Dream is to Bake

A 21st Century Mom of One Tries to Write

Categories Life, Other, Writing2 Comments on A 21st Century Mom of One Tries to Write

After she had vacuumed the carpet and gotten on her knees with a stain remover, spraying freely on the dark spots, the little cloth foaming with her scrubbing. 

After she had taken out the organics to the big bin in the garage, wiping the wet spot the paper “Bag to Earth” had left on the counter. 

After she had filled up the dishwasher, put the detergent in, and turn it on. 

After she had done the other dishes by hand, sprayed a bleach cleaner into the sink, and cleaned, dried, and put away a whole miscellanea of utensils and kitchen stuff.

Continue reading ➞ A 21st Century Mom of One Tries to Write